Rain after the storm

The light shines brigthest before a storm, the surdenly the darkness creaps over from a distance, hardly noticable and easily ignored it comes, then comes a slight strong breeze that alerts, and then a stronger one, the dark cloud comes faster than anticipated, still ignored by some until finally it covers the sun, the temperature drops too fast and the smell of musk, water mixed with dust fills
the air, and easy pleasurable taste i like; chaios comes even faster as cars bikes and pedestrians take cover zooming and fleeing from
every angle.
The wind gets harder and harder, pushin dust everywhere as the dark storm approaches like a giant shadow eclipsing everything in it's path
Treating to pull houses made of concrete from their foundations and tempting to carry live passangers along for a ride.
Then like a movie reaching it's climax or a song reaching it's peak, the rain comes gently but accompanied by wind and storms, but surely it comes, even after all that wind something must happen; Why all this illustration, why the weather story? It seems i have come to the edge of a storm in my life, a decision i cannot afford to ignore any longer in my life as i clock a year very soon an addiction and obsession must go, it cannot affort to follow me into another year of my life. But it's easier said than done, i have mentioned it times without number over and over again and about my conquest on defeating it, but allas like a soap opera that does not want to end, the villan refuses to die, the battle wages on and on, sometimes me progressing and sometimes me retreating and going back to my vomit. I want it all to stop i want this war to finally end;
Many a times i wish there was someone i could talk to.... maybe you could help me, by prayer or by comment